In 1972 Helen Reddy and Ray Burton wrote a song called “I AM Woman (Hear Me Roar)”
In the last few weeks this song has been going around and around in my brain and it didn’t take a conversation with a psychiatrist to analyze the reason behind this music going around and around in my mind. I can’t afford to talk to one anyway and as one doctor told me they are booked for months in advance. I know why too… they are booked up with women who were born in the late 40’s and 50’s. In the last several weeks I have seen four doctors. I have had serious tests and blood tests. All of the tests said the same thing. I am 100% healthy… just can’t sleep and I have red spots that have appeared on my body. All four of my doctors said the same thing, “Are you under any stress?” NOTHING IS WRONG WITH ME? I just stopped and looked at each doctor…. hoping that someone could help. Give me a pill to help or just do something to help me! One very nice doctor listened to me and told me to get a dog. Another doctor told me to see a psychologist. My friend said that I sound “Manic” and told me to take two sleeping pills and go to bed. One doctor told me to exercise and or go for long walks. One doctor shrugged his shoulders and gave me a prescription for a pill that is supposed to relax you. The last doctor has given me a series of pills that should make the spots disappear. A male friend even suggested that sex would take my mind off of my problems. Heck, he might be right.
Guess what, no one can really help. It is a matter of having too many problems and too many responsibilities for too long of time. As a woman who was born in the 1950’s, you do know what we were saddled with don’t you? We are jugglers. We have to keep everyone else happy… safe and comfortable. We are the problem solvers. We don’t have needs… or hopes or wishes. We are the answer. We have to keep busy and happy and cheerful no matter what happens in our own lives. Need help … call mom, feel upset, call mom, and need money call mom. Am I allowed to feel sad or depressed or desperate? NO, we have to stay strong for everyone else’s sake. The “was-band” (my name for my husband since our separation) is having problems. Is that his problem? NO, I am supposed to be the understanding ex. Which is exactly how I acted. What if I have a request… just one little request, no, it isn’t for me to have a request. I have to be happy no matter what. This isn’t just my problem. Look around you. So many women of my generation are the providers… not just financial … we are the providers of happiness, comfort and strength for our families and often our friends. We aren’t allowed to collapse. We don’t have the time or money to have a serious, nervous breakdown. We have to be strong for everyone else.
So, what do we do? I started with riding my stationary bike and walking on the treadmill. Saw all of my doctors … they agree I’m perfectly healthy. Keep working on my business; keep writing my blog … (BTW thank heaven for this blog) you are the only audience that I can tell my troubles to. I CAN COMPLAIN TO YOU! Thanks! I am taking all of the pills they gave me. NO, none of these pills are habit-forming… they are mostly for allergies. I started sending out resumes and have had my first interview for another job. YES, in my mid-sixties I will be running a company, writing a blog and working full-time. I am still available for giving advice and sympathy to all of my family and anyone else who may seek me out. Why? I can’t I help it. Why, do I still juggle? I was born in the 50’s and that is what we do. Right ladies? We remember birthdays, give advice, give love and hugs and put on a brave face in the face of all kinds of issues. It isn’t just me … it is almost every woman I know. So ladies pat yourselves on the back. Have a big martini… or two, or three. Just don’t drive. If you have any extra money, get a massage, call your girlfriend and complain to them. Remember, if they are your age believe me, they will listen and give you advice. Why?, because that is what we do.
“We are strong, we are invincible, we are WOMEN!!!!”
Until Next Week.
Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60) 
2 thoughts on ““Hear Me Roar!””
Will Hepburn
Sue Ellen, a hour before I read your most recent blog, my girlfriend gave me a wonderful guided meditation to listen to, that (1) helps quiets the mind, and (2) focuses on physical well being. If you want to you can listen to it at
Also, your comment:”As a woman who was born in the 1950’s, you do know what we were saddled with” is very telling. Regardless of what you were saddled with back when, you can choose to set that baggage down and move on in the now. Now is the only time you have any control. So just decide that that was then, and this is now, and now you want to feel good. As as it mentions in the meditation, choose to focus on good feeling thoughts, and when bad feeling thoughts creep in remind yourself that that was then, and this is now, and you choose to feel good now and change back to thinking about something that feels good. You can change your mind and your thinking.
I have $250,000 mortgage cloud hanging over my head that ought to resolve itself this summer, but or a long time I was obsessing over it (I already gave them the *^#! house and they still want a bunch of money). I believe that you get more of what you dwell on, but I could not shake myself out of the rut of worrying about this. Then I was reminded to change my thoughts to something I enjoy, so now whenever I start to slip into that mortgage place, I instead focus on a good feeling (a particular sex thing with my girlfriend, actually) and voila, the cloud dissipates.
Try it. What have you got to lose?
Best regards,
Will Hepburn
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istheresexaftersixty
Loved that meditation. Thank you.
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