Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60)

It has come to my attention that there is a new phenomenon that is going on in airspace or cyberspace of which I was totally unaware. My friend, who gets out and about throughout the week and seems to always be in the “know” of what is hip or timely fashionable, has informed me, that there is a new trend for seniors. She told me that from desktop, to laptop, to iPods to iPhones, men and women are having complete relationships on-line in cyberspace. In other words they are meeting, texting, emailing, getting to know each other, flirting and yes, even having sex separately (maybe at the same time?) carrying on a relationship, sometimes for months or years which can be on the other side of the country or the other side of the world. People often breakup online without ever meeting in person.

Now, I was and am, aware of Facebook and I know there are online chats where people get to know each other. We check our Facebook posts often everyday … how can we help but get to know our constant Facebook friends?   Day after day we get to understand each person’s separate personalities. Some FB friends are always worried, some are often angry, some need support, some are funny, some are intellectual, and some friends are artistic. It is always interesting, and, for me, this has become a very enjoyable pastime. For a little while in-between working for my business and handling every day life, I can take a few minutes to check on the news and the people who have become familiar to me. This perhaps gives us sometime to focus on what is happening outside of ourselves. We can easily surmise why friendships happen and how it might turn into more than a casual friendship especially, for seniors who are often retired, and for seniors who are single or childless. This is easy to understand. Personally, I love to joke and I love sarcasm and yes, I love to flirt. It is totally understandable how cyberspace relationships are (forgive the pun) on the rise, in our new and ever-changing modern world. It is normal for people to reach out to others and to try to make a connection with another human being even if this connection is only words on a screen.

There are a lot of pluses to keeping relationships online and online alone… and never meeting in person for both men and women. One, there isn’t the worry of catching a sexual disease. Two, it is safer for both men and women, as it is less likely to be raped or worse, as long as the relationship just stays on-line and personal information isn’t exchanged.

For men… in case you find out your on-line love is a clinging vine or that she is the mother of ten and is looking for you to be the new dad for her brood… well, then all you have to do is un-friend her and change your email. Just stop contacting her. This makes perfect sense. Men, you don’t have to take her out for drinks or dinner or take her to the movies. You don’t have to bring her candy or flowers … heck you don’t even have to shave or get a haircut.

Ladies, you don’t have to get your hair done, buy new outfits, new lingerie, perfume and makeup. Heck, you can stop getting your nails done and forget the bikini wax. I totally get it. This is your modern-day romance. Gosh, you don’t even have to drive your car or take a train or plane to meet. You are travel free. Less expense all the way around and anyway you look at this … it is a romance made in heaven for seniors.

Okay, I do see all of the benefits for these types of relationships. You don’t have to face the person or in some cases … face the music. It is easy, fast and clean which is very modern. Then again … there is something so nice about meeting someone and looking into their eyes, it is nice to be able to see their expression, smell their perfume, hear their voice without holding a phone. It’s nice to meet someone in person and to feel the spark, to say yes, to drinks or dinner. It’s nice to remember their look or smile and it is even nice to get that kiss goodnight, even if you are over sixty. It can even be fun to get a new outfit and fix your hair and get your nails done in anticipation of an evening out. For men, sometimes it feels good to buy her flowers and candy and to get a hair cut and a shave and to put on a new suit and a clean shirt… Just for her. It can be nice to get the car washed for your date while considering your conversation over dinner. Sometimes the old-fashioned way of meeting and going on from there can be fun. Yes, you are taking a chance. You can be fooled or disappointed or uncomfortable and you can occasionally break your heart. At least you know you are alive and real.

Of course, having said all of that, I just received an email from a friend I haven’t seen in 14 years. We keep in touch by email. I have two friends that I haven’t seen in person in over 20 years. We call each other often and we write letters and send gifts. What’s the difference? Maybe we all just need to connect and maybe any connection is good and real. What are we anyway but souls floating around in cyberspace… so like they used to say in ads for telephones, … maybe we have to just “Reach out and touch someone.” even if it is on-line.

Until Next Week…