Does anyone else get letters from funeral and cremation services???
My response,
I totally understand that you have to try to increase your business and all but please don’t push me. It will happen soon enough. Not ready yet. After arriving at an age somewhere over 70, it has occurred to me, I might have my last moment at any moment now. I am just letting you know that I don’t have time to die right now as I am still worrying how to pay each month’s bills, I have a son looking for work, one son who just moved, and two cats who rely on me to give them food and treats, every day while they do their best to wreck my furniture and one of them seems to enjoy to see me on my hands and knees, cleaning his throw up on my rugs, so, I would hate to disappoint them by dying at this time. Let’s put this on the back burner for now, shall we? I am quite aware that this will happen sometime in the future. This is an uncomfortable, unavoidable fact of which I am unhappily resigned. Let’s, postpone the deposit for this event, if it is alright with you.
I see you have seven funeral homes conveniently located nearby and am assuming more than one cremation spot. Tomorrow Denver is expecting floods due to dangerous thunder and lightning storms, assuming the weatherman’s correct in his prediction. If necessary, I’ll wait in line or at the very least I’ll try my best to extend my demise for a more convenient moment, so as not to put your business in a difficult situation being swamped with requests. Of course, with seven funeral homes this seems unlikely.
Well, fellows, since a lot of small businesses and restaurants in the area are closing and you have expanded to seven different spots your business seems to be booming. Therefore, I won’t worry about your demise and please wait patiently for mine. I’ll keep you in mind and informed, and I will let the family know that you could very well be in the running. But for now, good luck. I won’t add, see you soon, for obvious reasons. Why jinx it? Let’s just say Au revoir, for now.
Sincerely,
Sue Ellen Wilton Burckhart
Until Next Time…
