Some people are better at this than others. Some people actually manage to hide from this for most of their lives. I am not fond of facing it but sometimes there is no escape. When my children were young, both of my boys had issues with monsters and ghosts sneaking around their bedrooms at night especially right before bedtime. I would read, hopefully, funny or cheerful books to them before bed and I always left a nightlight on. Still those pesky monsters and ghosts and sometimes-even aliens (no not from other countries, the ones from outer space) would be hiding in their closets or under their beds. I finally came up with a plan. I decided to tell them the truth and believe it or not, it worked!
I told them that there are things to be afraid of in life. I focused on three things. I told them there are bad things in life and that these usually consisted of three things.
- There IS such a thing as bad people. There are some people that might want to harm you. This is why I am so careful with you and that is why I watch out for you. That is why I always tell you not to talk to strangers.
- There is illness. That is why I try to get you to eat fruit, vegetables, milk, meat and fish. That is why you need your sleep and why I make you wash your hands when you come home and before every meal. That is also why I take you to the doctor and dentist.
- There are accidents, some of these are preventable, and some are not. That is why I make sure you look both ways before you cross the street and why I tell you never to walk behind the school bus.
“All of these things are true and can happen so we will try our best to avoid them, however, ghosts and monsters and aliens from outer space are not real and are nothing to be afraid of at night in your bedroom. “
Guess what, it worked. I gave them the truth. I showed them reality and believe it or not reality was less frightening than their fears.
So, where does that leave us? Reality is spooky but sometimes it is necessary to face it and look at it, straight in the eye. Handling reality is tricky. If you are reading this you are probably over 60 years old and so you have had to juggle this issue like most of us. Facing the truth can be good when you can make changes to improve a situation. If you can’t change the truth you are facing well this can be harder to figure out. For example, everything that is alive must die. We know this and we recognize this as a fact and a truth, however, it is still more than an uncomfortable concept to face. Is it really good for us to dwell on this everyday, twenty-four hours a day? Everyone we know and love and care about is going to disappear. This is where Yin and yang come in. It is good for us to recognize that we are all here for a short time and that this time and our family and friends are precious to us. We can recognize this fact without it having a sense of doom hanging over our lives and our relationships. So, it is good to ignore the facts and to ignore reality as much as it is important to face it.
Being a March baby makes me a Pisces. We are dreamers and most of us do our best to hide from truth and reality as much as possible. I have been known to do this on occasion but I also have been responsible for taking care of my children, my pets, and yes my “was-band” for most of my adult life. I have to bite the bullet and often face truths and reality when I would just like to stay in bed and cover my head with a blanket.
As a very small business ownerI will keep that going and I am working on expanding my business to improve my financial situation. I am going to keep writing this blog to keep my creative side alive and well. Creating keeps us young. I decided to stop drinking alcohol (no I’m not an alcoholic) just to save money and as an experiment to see if I still have my old self-control and discipline in tact. I loved smoking more than life itself and I gave that up 35 years ago. I guess life was more important to me than cigarettes after all. Now I’m not giving up alcohol for life. I just am not going to have it every night from now on. I want to see if this makes any difference in my life. (So far, so good.) Stopped over three weeks ago. I just realized that I made a habit of having one to three glasses of wine every night.
My lady doctor asked me if I drink alcohol? She is my new doctor and asked me all kinds of questions. “You don’t drink any alcohol do you?” she asked. I have a really nun-like, sweet face, so no one suspects me of doing anything wrong. I answered, “ I don’t smoke. I don’t take drugs. I don’t have sex. I eat healthy foods, however, I do have two or three glasses of wine with ice. “ She looked perplexed and said, “Three glasses is too much. You shouldn’t have more than one glass a day.” I was shocked. “I don’t need it I just like it. Listen, I don’t have any bad habits… can’t I have some wine???”
Well, she told me that it wasn’t a good idea. Not only wine, she told me to cut down on my salt intake too! “WHAT, NO SALT, NO CARBS, NO WINE!!!!” I manage to face a fact or two and I am not giving everything up at the same time. I do have salt … just less. I am giving myself six weeks without any alcohol after that I will have it once or twice a week or if I go out to dinner with friends. I am not going to have three drinks a night, every night.
There is still sex. Oh I forgot, I am not having that either. I have heard it is a good way to burn calories. I am over 60 and I have to admit there isn’t anyone in my life right now but I have to take this reality thing … one step at a time. I am not willing to face the reality that sex is over for good. There is such a thing as taking reality and facing it and then there is a time for taking reality and placing it in your back pocket.
Until Next Week…
Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60) 