My friend and I were sitting over lunch this Labor Day Weekend discussing our lives and yes, men were discussed along with our hair, and makeup, and our figures and what we wanted to change about our looks, our lives, and ourselves in general. One of my big concerns was about my hair; should I cut it or leave it the same length? Should I keep growing it longer? My friend had just seen an interview on TV with Stevie Nicks (just in case you are from a younger generation) the singer and songwriter from Fleetwood Mac. Stevie is about four years older than I. My friend said that Stevie Nicks had even longer hair than mine and that it looked great. So we decided that I should keep my hair long. All because Stevie Nicks has long, pretty hair.
Today, I was on the phone with a different girlfriend. (Yes, even though we are in our 60’s we still call ourselves girls and girlfriends. My 22 year-old son thinks this is hysterical.) As I was saying; my friend and I were discussing a real problem … should I see a man I used to know a long time ago, who has asked me out to dinner when he comes to town next month? This is a real dilemma, as I believe he might be married. Should I? Shouldn’t I? We can’t decide. Our conversation has to continue tomorrow. We can’t decide if this dinner is just a nice; let’s just go over old times as friends’ dinner; or more than that? As I mentioned before, this is a real dilemma.
That isn’t all. I sent a text to a friend before noon today discussing another problem asking her opinion about another problem of mine…. All of a sudden it occurred to me. The last few conversations I have had with my friends sound exactly like the conversations I had in high school. NOT really that different. So maybe we never mature after high school? Maybe, mentally, we stop at 17 or 18?
We put on our pretend grownup faces. Some of us get jobs and get married … we might buy a house or two, we get mortgages and we buy cars …. and then shock of all shocks, we have a child, or two, or three, or six. That’s when we really have to start pretending we are all grown up. We constantly pretend to our children that we are strong, and we know what we are doing. Heck, maybe we pretend to be grownup and mature to our bosses, our clients and to almost everyone we meet? Most of the time we can keep this act up for a good part of our adult lives. Occasionally there is a crack in the mask.
Thank heavens for friends, best friends, old friends and family. You can’t fool them. They know the real you. If you need to fall apart…. who better to fall apart in front of but your sister, or your brother or your best friends? They knew you when your boyfriend dumped you. They knew you when you stayed up all night giggling talking over your first kiss. They know the real you, that girl in high school that is still there hiding a bit under those stray grey hairs and the wrinkles around the eyes that arrived overnight. They still see you as that girl excited about college. “Does Rick really like me or not?” “Should I kiss him on the first date?”
Things haven’t changed. I still listen to the same music. I remember the dance steps. I have been discussing my future with my friends and family. What job should I get? Should I keep my hair blond or should I be a redhead? Does he really like me or is he just pretending? My good friend is going to join a ballet class this month. I’m not sure if I want to become a writer or should I try to get a job at a TV station? Things really don’t change all that much.
I’m not going out for cheerleading, I just might kiss that guy that I like, on our very first date. Why not? I’m old enough. Just in case you are wondering, I made a decision about the old friend from my past, who wants to meet next month. If he calls me again, I’m going to suggest a lunch date at a restaurant far from my apartment. My girlfriend and I decided this, on the phone last night. I called her right after I did the dishes. Sound familiar?
Until Next Week…
Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60) 