Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60)

The definition of a ladies man according to urbandictionary.com
“A ladies man is someone who likes girls and has a lot of friends who just so happen to be girls. A ladies man is not a womanizer. A ladies man will be totally honest. A ladies man loves women, but shows them respect and is generally good to them.”

If you are sixty years of age or over and you are reading this right now it doesn’t matter if you are a man or a woman I already know a few things about you. One, you are very careful. If you weren’t careful you wouldn’t have made it to sixty. Two, you are pretty smart. You are smart because you are reading this and how many people even read anymore? When you have survived to sixty you have probably noticed when you or someone close to you has had a close call, you make a note of this fact and tell yourself not to be in that situation in the future. See, you are smart! Third, you are lucky. Think of all of the people in the world through no fault of their own didn’t make it to sixty years on earth. Of all of these three things the one I have taken very seriously is to be VERY CAREFUL. I try to drive the speed limit or I only go five to ten miles over when absolutely necessary. I wear my seat belt at all times and I don’t ever text or talk on the phone while driving. I leave one or two car spaces between my car and the car in front of me. I don’t smoke. I don’t take drugs. I don’t climb mountains or hike alone. Notice how many older women go missing when hiking alone? Okay you get it … I’m a careful person. Being careful has carried on to my romantic life as well. I’m careful with whom I share my feelings. Why are we careful? We are careful so as not to get hurt.

How careful am I when getting to know a man? Well to give you an example. In the last 8 years I have only given my phone number out to two men who had nothing to do with work or my business. I have only chosen to go on two blind dates in my life set up by two of my best friends. Now, having said all of this you would think that I would be very intelligent about whom I would choose to get to know … you would think so right? So, why do I more often than not, choose a “ladies man”? I have a theory. My dad was a ladies man. I was around him from my birth (he was 30 when I was born) to his death at the age of 94. He was the personification of a ladies man. Women loved him and he loved women. All ages, didn’t matter. My father was charming and cute. Every ladies man is charming and cute. They listen and they make you believe that you are beautiful, smart, interesting and sexy. They are genuinely nice. They always have a large clutch (word for a large group of chickens) around them. Occasionally, these men focus on one particular female; she is usually very sweet looking. They like the girl next-door type. These men don’t go for wild-looking women. They like them too but they prefer sweet. They like an interesting woman that they can’t quite figure out. Catnip to them is if a woman is really, really, hard to get. A ladies man will take his time and wait and wait and prod and plan.

Picture a fly fisherman, the kind that wear those plastic waders and stand in rivers for hours at a time often not catching a single fish, and the next day they will go back again. When they do catch a fish they hold it, look at it, sometimes take a picture of it and then what do they do? They un-hook the fish and throw it back in the water. Now sometimes there is fish all around them… they love all of the fish, but they have their eye on one special fish. The one that is hard to get. This man will not give up … he will keep on trying.

Often when he finally catches the one he has been waiting to hook he holds on to it a bit longer and what does he do then? He will unhook it and tosses it back into the water with all the other fish he loves. There is only one exception. Sometimes he catches the fish but she wiggles out of his hands and he can’t hold on to her. This is, of course, the one that holds his interest and his imagination, sometimes for weeks or months and sometimes for years. Not that he ever gives up catching and releasing all the other fish at the same time.

Okay, I know these men. For some reason I am often the one they chase…girl next-door face, interesting, hard to pin down, shy, and most of all … very hard to get. You would think I would recognize them right away. No, but at least I start to get hints in a few months. These men are always married more than once, they are always charming, they are always cute and they always have smooth voices. They always prefer married women. Why? They tell themselves that is for other reasons however, they like married women because they don’t like being tied down. If you are married you can’t tie them down. You can find them on Facebook because they have 396 woman friends and 4 men friends.

Occasionally, when they reach 60 or older they find one sort of special one who raises to the top of the list only if she is always someone he can’t quite figure out. She will stay on his mind and often in his life till the end as long as she isn’t jealous. {He likes women and he can’t help it and he won’t change.} . They never fight or argue … they walk away. I never heard my father yell at anyone in my life. My dad was the president of a large company. He never fired anyone … he had other people do it. A ladies man hates fighting and confrontations.

I forgot to mention three things about these men. They are kind and generous to their family and friends but devoted to their routines and nothing but nothing changes their routines. Not love, not money, not family, nothing. They love sameness, not in women, or in love, but in their life. They have set routines that they stick to and this how it is going to be until they die. My dad was absolutely devoted to his routines. They will be happy to meet you as long as you are within a 50-mile radius of their home. They love their home.

Are they worth knowing?  These guys are always cheerful, except if you try to change their routine or tie them down. They say sweet things all of the time and constantly tell you how wonderful you are. They have made literally hundreds of women happy. How can you not like them? Now, if you are a very interesting woman and very slippery and if you are very hard to figure out and very hard to get, well, you just might have a relationship, as long as you don’t mind being just a tiny bit more important than that huge group of ladies he will always enjoy entertaining.

Until Next Week …