One of my good friends suggested that I write about what men want after the age of sixty. She told me that on her authority (after having dated quite a few men in the last few years) those men over sixty are looking for either a nurse or a purse. In other words, men want a woman to either take care of them or to pay for everything or both. My friend is very pretty and single and men over sixty often ask her out. She has told me that it is difficult to find a man who is interested in her as a partner instead of a nurse or a purse. She would like to be married and frankly she was at one time looking more for companionship than having to be madly in love with her partner. I do not agree with marrying for companionship only because frankly marriage isn’t easy. I think if you don’t start with real love, devotion and passion it is hard to get over the rough spots, but what do I know? I have only been married for 35 years and basically it was over after 20 years. I am frankly interested in what men really want life to look like from 60 and beyond or until they reach that great new adventure called the hereafter.
So, I started asking questions to men and to the women in their lives. I wanted to know the hopes and dreams of men over sixty. What do they want to accomplish in the future? What do they regret about the past? Sex, and women or relationships are these things important to them?? Well, lots of men avoided answering me as if they were avoiding the plague. I am inferring from this avoidance, that most men either don’t like talking about these subjects or they want to avoid thinking about the future, period. I think maybe they want to avoid all of the questions. Perhaps this is too uncomfortable a subject for men to discuss with a female. Personally, I, like most women, enjoy talking about my feelings and the future and my likes and dislikes ad infinitum. Women like to go into great detail about our past and our regrets. Even in our 60’s if some man flirts with us we report this to our friends in great detail and we pull apart every tiny aspect of the conversation…. even if it only lasted a minute or two.
Men Are Different
Okay, men are different. I get it. They aren’t thrilled to talk about their feelings, their hopes and dreams. They don’t like to talk about their relationships. They don’t like dwelling on the future. I finally understand this fact. Hopefully, in the future, with persistence, I will be able to drag the truth out of them.
Learned So Far
This is what I have learned so far from the small sample of men that I have recently questioned. Most men have very simple wishes. A lot of their wishes are just a matter of doing something… making that phone call or planning that trip. Most men are happy with their life as it is right now with the addition of maybe a lady to ask out to dinner occasionally … sex? maybe, but (and this surprised me) sex doesn’t seem to be a priority. A few men regretted not marrying and not having children. A few men would like to marry to have someone with whom to comfortably spend the rest of their lives and to be able to travel with as a companion. A lot of men that have been married for over 30 years seem very happy with their marriages and their lives. These happily married men just want their lives to continue without much change. One man told me that he enjoys sex a time or two a month and hopes for that to continue into the future.
What Their Women Said
Then I asked women about their men. Once again a lot of women are happy with the status quo, especially, if they have been married for a long time. A few women are frustrated with the lack of help with everyday household chores… one wife said that her man is downright lazy. I do think a lot of men are blind to the work that we wives do to keep their homes and lives running like clockwork. It is because we have often taken care of our homes, our husbands, our children, our pets and we have often worked part-time or fulltime jobs while juggling all of these things in the air at the same time. A few wives have told me about the sad, but loving burden, of taking care of husbands that have been very ill for a very long time. This has come up a few times since I started this blog. In cases like this there is only today and getting through the day, to get to, tomorrow. A few women were not happy with their sex lives but this was, once again, usually due to illness.
Now to get back to the “nurse or the purse”, I really didn’t find that the men that I questioned were looking for either a nurse or a woman with money. Most men seem to want a companion more than a nurse or a purse. Maybe, as usual, in my life, I have been very lucky to know just a nice group of men.
Until next week…