Things change, seasons change, fashion changes tastes change, circumstances change, lifestyles come and go. People come and go in and out of our lives however, some things don’t change.
If I liked you a lot then I probably always will and if I loved you well that is a problem because I probably always will, forever. I have recognized this as a serious flaw in my personality. Most people are very good at utilizing the “easy come, easy go” philosophy. Not me, not where love and like are concerned. Do I grab on to people? No. Do I hang around when I am not wanted? No. Do I try too hard to please? Yes. Have I ever followed anyone or driven past their house? (Well, not since high school. Didn’t everyone do that a few times in high school?)
The trouble is. I don’t stop caring or wondering how people I liked or loved are doing. If asked I try my darnedest to help if anyone needs help. Even if I have been dropped like the proverbial hot potato and you need something, I step up. Why? I don’t know? In other words, I’m a sop, both noun and verb.
I realize there are different kinds of love. I think I have experienced a few. The madly, deeply, the type where you can’t get or see or hear or touch enough of the person. The type where one look and you tingle all over. There is the deeply in passion kind of thing and there is the deeply in like.
It’s not like I don’t go on with my life. I do and I did and I will keep going but a small part of me still cares. I still have a “wasband” (my husband that was) we have known each other for 41 years. Good or bad it doesn’t matter; I still care about him. He is the father of my children and I know about his youth and his family and frankly what makes him tick. How can one turn that off? I can’t. Are we in love? No but care… yes, I guess care is the right word we are separated but life has thrown us back together as a necessity a few times. We do occasionally have serious arguments, but there is still a sort of bond, maybe an unexplainable bond.
It is difficult for me to ignore love from the past? Sure, it is. My family, gone some because of distance and some because they have left this world forever. Did I stop loving them? No. I don’t stop loving family or friends or even pets. Must we move on, of course but I can’t forget and I miss them, all of them.
Does love die? Real love. I don’t think so. Crushes fizzle and passions can fizzle but maybe love just doesn’t die.
This is what my epitaph will say.
Until the Next Time…