Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60)

In the last few months my 13-year-old Apple Computer decided that he had had enough of me and he died.  I don’t blame him.  I have been pounding on him day and night and sometimes I threatened to toss him over the balcony.  It is only the third floor but I still think it would have been a disastrous ending.  My Apple I Phone was also making noises as if he were getting a little sick and tired of me too.  Therefore, in the matter of two months-time I had to buy a computer and a phone and I had to figure out how to use them.  I am after all in my 60’s.  Everyone 45 and under can figure out a new computer and a new phone in a matter of minutes, but for me I have to start slowly and slowly ease my way into what I hope will be a long lasting and mutually rewarding relationship. 

I was most unhappy with both of my new products.  Well, I say new but my computer is a new “used” computer.  I decided that I truly didn’t care that it had been USED by others in the past.  I’m opened minded and besides he only had one other owner and he was almost new.  The first owner only had him since October of last year.  With some help from my two sons my HP computer and I are managing … slowly but surely. 

Now, about my new Apple I Phone….  We have been having issues.  The I Phone is new and it seems bigger than my last phone and he is heavier than my last phone and frankly I was afraid I was going to have to offer him to the highest bidder and go back to my previous phone.   Even though the last phone’s batteries were not what they used to be.  Sometimes it’s easier to stay with the old unreliable one.  With my new phone, I had to push and push and slide and slide to change the screen.  I pushed with my index finger.  I push up and swish… up and swish but nothing happened.  PUSH HARDER AND SWISHING HARDER WAS MY STRATEGY.  This didn’t work.  Then one day I lightly touched the left corner of the phone’s screen and lightly swished up from left to right.  And …. Voila! I got rid of the picture and went on to my next email.  My new I Phone and I are getting along beautifully.

It occurred to me that there might be a lesson in this.  I started to think about it more and more.  What made a difference …. from hard or difficult, to easy?  Could it have something to do with “the light touch”?

Last night I heard some bad news and something happened that made me very, very upset.  Nothing that I want to get into … not really terrible just something in my home that threw me into a quiet, silent, rage.  I became more and more upset by the moment and found it very hard to get to sleep.  I even woke up angry in the middle of the night.  Then I thought about my I Phone.  I thought about the light touch.  That light touch made everything disappear.

What is so important?  Really nothing.  Life is important, love is important, art and music and laughter are important.  Caring and kindness is important.  Thoughtfulness is important.  Letting go of anger and sadness and disappointment is important.  In other words.  It is important to focus on “the light touch.” 

When I awoke this morning, it was zero outside and about 63 degrees inside my apartment.  I sat up in bed got up and put a sweater on over my t-shirt.  (I wear large old t-shirts to bed.  They are comfortable.)  I fluffed my pillow and put my comforter around me and read a good book.  My son and my “was-band” knocked on my bedroom door to tell me that it was 63 degrees in the apartment and I had better call maintenance.  I was happy and calm and called maintenance.  At 4 PM my building’s very nice maintenance man arrived, smiling at me, “Hi, Cold enough for you?”, he said.  An hour later our heat was on and I am comfortable. 

What have I learned?  Just think of life, think of everything as not being too important.  I see myself lightly touching the screen and swishing it away.  There, all gone.  It just needs a light touch.

Until the next time …