Is There Sex After 60? (Navigating Single Life After 60)

Listen to any news station … pick one, I don’t care which one you pick, any one of them will do and all you are going to hear from reports is today’s death count and the virus count.  Then the reporter delights in expounding on the horrifying traits of the Killer Asian Hornets that cut off the heads of sweet little honey bees who are just doing their best to pollinate the world to make pretty flowers, and plentiful fruits and vegetables, while at the same time, providing us with honey to spread on our Sunday morning breakfast biscuits.  The Killer Hornets surround Honey Bea’s hives and kill all of the bees by decapitating them one by one.

 Sidebar* (Does it seem like everything Asian is getting blamed for everything lately?  I love Asian, styles, Asian food, art, and all of the Asian people, maybe not all of the political leaders, but that’s another story.)

Last, but not least …

Then, this same reporter, grins into the camera, while explaining that we are now facing a new killer, namely, killer debt!!!  More businesses are going bankrupt, more businesses closing, more unemployment … “THAN EVER BEFORE IN HISTORY!”, they shout from every channel.  People are depressed doctors’ report, spousal abuse is erupting, and now we have to look up while walking near apartment buildings to make sure that we avoid jumpers.  REALLY, REALLY, DO I HAVE TO KEEP HEARING THIS DAY AND NIGHT SEVEN DAYS A WEEK NONSTOP!!!   Is anyone else sick of these “killer conversations” on the news?

Is there anything that we can think about or talk about to be able to clear our minds off of the deadly pestilence and the imminent destruction of the human race?  Well, there is always food and wine to take your mind off of looming disasters but alas, too much lemon cake and pasta make one gain weight.  So you might look to soothing your psyche with wine, vodka, scotch, or tequila.  Once again, if it tastes great and makes you feel good, it hurts something else.  Liquor has been known to have a very bad effect on your liver.  Personally, I’m afraid of having a serious conversation with my liver.  She might have a lot to complain about.  I once had a very serious conversation with my lungs about 35 years ago and they told me to stop smoking or else!!   I decided that they were on my side so I stopped smoking.  About a year ago my scale had a very sad expression when I stepped on him, so, the two of us have been working on a solution that we can both live with. These days my scale is much happier.  He smiles.

This leads me to my revelation.  If you are still alive and breathing you can think about sex.  This really helps to take your mind off of the terrible news.  If you are having some sex while in hibernation with your loved one, well, good for you!  If not?  Why not start planning for the future?  How about that nice older man who told you a joke while waiting for the elevator, he seemed rather interested, didn’t he?   Well, at least he had a twinkle in his eye and he wasn’t wearing a ring.   Guys, what about that nice neighbor lady that keeps sending you her extra spaghetti sauce, and who has baked your favorite pie and left it at your door?  Well, guys, consider asking her to dinner when the local restaurants finally decide to open their doors allowing you to sit six feet apart.

I have a man friend or two or three that I have known off and on for the last few years.  They all have been very kind and friendly and they have worried about me.  Yes, my business is closed.  Yes, it might be closed for good.  Yes, I was the first to apply for two of the new government loans.  No, they haven’t arrived yet, if ever, and no I haven’t received my stimulus check when everyone else in the country has received their check long ago.  So what have my men friends been doing to cheer me up?  One sends me risqué photos, actually to make me laugh.  One sent me a tantalizing rather a romantic movie, and one of my on-line friends send me an occasionally dirty (but funny) joke.  He also calls me and says things that are funny and he makes me smile and laugh and blush.  I have said it before and I will say it again, sex, romance, flirting, attraction, shouldn’t be over when you are over sixty.  It takes you away from the humdrum daily existence and brightens a bad day.

{Back to the nice man in the elevator.}  I had to leave for an appointment so I didn’t have time to talk but I said, “I have a good joke for you too.”  He answered, “Go ahead, and tell me now.”  I smiled,  “I’m late but I will tell you the next time I see you.”  He stood looking slightly forlorn as I left the building.

Last week, I made my hair naturally very light blonde again, thanks to L’Oreal.  I trimmed my bangs and applied some blush and mascara, sprayed some perfume on my neck and wrists, carefully applied my lipstick, and took the elevator to the lobby to check my mail.  The only person I came in contact with was an 82-year-old woman who was walking her dog.   No, I haven’t seen the nice man again but isn’t it kind of cute that even as a senior I still get dressed up to go to the lobby and that I still care?

 Several weeks ago a man friend messaged me on Facebook lamenting over the fact that we hadn’t met years ago since we have lived in the same cities at the same time but our paths had not crossed.  I answered him with four words. “We aren’t dead yet!”

It’s not over until it’s over.

 I will end with the definition of flirting.

 VERB

“ To behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.”

Now, isn’t that more fun than thinking about death, hornets, and debt?  I think so!

Until Next Time …