Don’t ask me why I decided to get the Obituary Notices from the Aspen News in my email but I guess when I did that I must have had a good reason. Now, this is how you know you are really getting old, I actually read them. Why? I’m not sure. I suppose originally maybe I wanted to see if anyone I knew in the past, had passed! Frankly, I only vaguely remember signing up to receive the “want ads” so, maybe I signed up for the obituary notices at the same time? I might have done this to see if any of my old bosses from a previous job might have kicked the bucket. In 2009 I was downsized to one day a week working for a group of horrible, terrible, no good, slimy creeps. When hearing my new, one day a week, schedule, I QUIT! In an almost four year period, I had worked for five or more terrible general managers and several horrible men and one or two horrible women for a semi-combined home management /real estate company. I was called a floater and I had to learn how to run four different offices in and around Aspen, Colorado. For about six or seven months during this period, I worked in one of the company’s offices in a town next to Aspen with a group of perhaps the coldest, meanest, most offensive, men that I have ever had the unfortunate luck to be introduced to. I worked at a desk directly across the room and faced the bosses’ assistant. After this woman passes through this life to the other side, it is my humble belief and I am pretty sure that I am right about this belief, that the Devil has made his pitch for her to be placed in a desk directly in front of the gates of HELL, as his assistant. I am sure she will do a fine job. Most of the men from the real estate division will be on the inside of the fiery gates, on their phones trying to make millions of dollars selling the homes of millionaires’ and billionaires’ mansions. They will carry on in Hell with their present careers. If I die and I spot any of these people I will be unhappily aware that I haven’t made it to the “Pearly Gates”. My wish for this life is that I will never have to see or speak to any of these people again and when or if I do have to gaze once more on any of their faces it will be from the Obituary Notices in the Aspen Newspaper.
Well, now to get to my main point. Today I read two obituaries of two men. Both of these men were very good looking and had what read like two very busy, interesting lives. They were both liked and loved by many people and both had left loved ones behind. It looked very much like these men were very good men. Lots of people knew them and loved them. They will be missed. One man was three years younger and one man was twelve years younger than my 67 years. They both passed away in the last few days. It looks like their deaths were anticipated. I, therefore, made the conclusion that they each had been ill for a long time.
If you haven’t noticed by now we all have moved into a new decade. What happened to the year 2000 and where have I been and what have I been doing for the last twenty years??? I don’t know about you but it now seems as if we are all traveling at lightning speed on a bullet train to the future. Holy Cow! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? IT IS ALREADY 2020!! I’m afraid to blink or it might just be 2030 or 2040 when I open my eyes. Twenty years ago I was still kind of cute. Men in their 30’s thought I was their age and they still flirted with me. I still had young boys to raise and my husband and I still slept together. Whoosh!!!! Gone, it’s all gone. My boys are men. My husband is now my husband, that was, or as I call him, my “Was-band”. I’m not sure I would know what to call myself now? Would I be a “Was-ife?”
Hitting 2020 has hit me a bit like running my car into a brick wall. Actually, January 2, 2019, a truck ran head-on into me. Somehow this event should have prepared me for the year ahead but it didn’t. For the last 37 years, I have been worrying. I have had very good reasons for worrying. I had really high hopes for my 60’s. Surprise! Life keeps on going and problems keep coming and unexpected issues keep happening.
Hey, I have tons of friends from my past who are calm and happy and comfortable and sitting back and enjoying their lives and their marriages and their retirement and their grandchildren while I am still worrying and wondering how in the heck I am going to keep going. Life and years are flying by while I worry about paying rent. Then, this morning I read the Aspen Obituaries. Two good men are gone. One man was 64 and one man was 55 years old.
I am facing and have faced big problems since the year 2000 came and went. Somehow, I am still here and my children are alive and well and my pets are happy and still wrecking my furniture and the Oriental rugs. My “Was-band” is still his usual pain in the (well you know what) I am still worrying about bills but I get to get up tomorrow morning and I get to see the sunrise again and I get to have a nice cup of coffee with cream and I get to text my youngest son and I get to ask my oldest son what terrible thing is happening on the news. Tomorrow morning I just might call my old friend in Texas that I have known for over 50 years. Tonight I am going to have a bowl of stew for dinner and a large glass of wine.
Time is speeding by faster than ever. I’m still glad to be able to see 2020 arrive and with any luck hopefully, we will be able to see 2021, and 2022, and on into the future. Worries or no worries, I guess it is all still worth it. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!
Until Next Week…