Yesterday I went out to lunch with my good friend who happens to be younger than me…. We went to a nice Italian restaurant. We sat next to the window so we could see the downtown life walking past us in the street. It was lovely feeling, while we pretended to be carefree ladies who lunch. Neither of us is all that carefree in real life, as we both have lots of responsibilities waiting for us at our respective homes. It was a lovely, crisp, clean day in November, in the big city and the sky was blue and we both somehow found parking spaces not too far from the restaurant. We were slightly giddy that we both had managed to escape our everyday existence to return to the “bright lights, big city” feeling. We both got dressed up. My friend always looks perfect, but I managed to braid my now very long, blond, hair and I added a designer bow to the top of my braid. I wore a new sweater and new shoes that I finally managed to break in. For some reason, I was transported back in time and I could have been meeting one of my single friends for lunch as my former single, 26, year-old-self.
We decided to order a bottle of Prosecco and we ordered hors d’oeuvre to split. A very handsome man walked past the window and we both turned and stared, he noticed us staring and looked back at us and we both started laughing. I might be a senior but I still appreciate a real handsome man walking past me, a few feet away. As we sipped our sparkling wine my friend made a suggestion that I should write more about sex in my posts…. because I write a blog that has sex in the title. I tried to explain that “istheresexaftersixty” is a euphemism…. in other words…. the title of my blog is supposed to ask the question, “Will life still be important and fun and interesting and exciting, after sixty? I can’t escape the obvious, and sex is in the title of my blog so, here goes.
I have got to admit that I am a silly, hopeless, romantic. I love a good love story and watch old movies over and over again. I cry at sweet commercials on TV and I sob at unhappy endings. I am still married to my “was-band” (husband that was) for 36 years, but our marriage was really over after 20 years. I am separated and back to being a single woman. So the question is.. “Is there sex after sixty?” I’m happy to report that it looks like sex does exist for a lot of seniors. I hear from seniors quite often from friends, old and new. People seem to confide in me about their sex lives. Good news! Lots of you are having quite a lot of sex as the years roll by. People are dating, seniors are falling in love, and some of you are having sex for the sex alone. Yep, sex is still happening. There is texting sex, computer sex, phone-sex, friends with benefit-sex and, it is happening for seniors! I often hear stories about widowed men and women who have reconnected with past loves and have reunited with their old flames. Not all of the seniors that I have heard from in the last year, while writing my blog, are all that interested in considering sex as a big part of their senior lifestyles. Some men and women seem be very content with sex being a memory tucked away in the past. One nice thing I have noticed is that lots of my friends are still very happily married to their high school sweethearts. Happy endings do exist; so nice to know.
So now you are all thinking, about me, right? How does sex play a part in my life? Well, I did go on two dates with men I knew a long time ago in the last few months. It was pleasant. No, no, sex, or even a spark. It was nice. I actually had to force myself to go. If you know me, I am not a shy person. I seem to be unafraid of everything. To my children I have had to be the tower of strength. It was and, frankly, still is, a necessity. Truthfully, I am not afraid of much. I can speak in front of a crowd of people without flinching. I can stand up for my beliefs, popular and “Un”. I have stood before people with varying opinions and given my personal opinion and managed to stand my ground. There are only a few things that frighten me … two, are illness and poverty. Outside of that, I am pretty strong.
There is one thing that manages to frighten me. I guess you can say that I am shy where sex is concerned. Always have been and probably always will be. I have enjoyed sex in the past. I have enjoyed it a lot. What I am afraid of is probably caring too much. I am done with being sad or hurt. Only one time in the last several years or so have I managed to have a relationship where sex was the only important factor in the relationship and this actually was a surprise to me. One thing that I have noticed in my own life is that sex is still important to me. Sex is still exciting to think about, possibly more now, than in my past. I honestly thought all this would be in the distant past, but it isn’t. I am still interested. Am I a silly, old, senior? Maybe, but I don’t want it to be over yet. When should we stop considering sex as a possibility? I don’t know? I just know that I don’t want to think that it is over. Romance? Who knows? Maybe there will be that one guy in the next room at the senior living center in my future that will find me irresistible. We will fall into each other’s arms. (Cut to a sunset as the music swells.) Heck, I can dream can’t I?
Until Next week….