It came to my attention this week. I haven’t seen it for a long time. This particular “look” has caught me by surprise. I felt a little twinge or maybe it was a ping on my heartstrings. There are all kinds of “LOOKS”. I fortunately or un, have been the receiver of a whole bunch of “Looks”
ANGRY- There is that angry teacher look. Yes, in elementary school I have been the receiver of the angry teacher look. I also have been the receiver of the “I can’t believe you answered that question and that you are so, so stupid!” LOOK.
HATE-Then there is the look of pure hate. I’ve been married and separated so I definitely have given and received that look. My children have given me that look on occasion as well, especially when I have said, no, to a fervent request, usually involving my car or money.
MOTHER-Maybe one of the spookiest looks is the look your mother gives you when she thinks you are doing something in public of which she totally disapproves. That look of “you better stop that and stop that NOW!” look, or else!!! The wait until we get home!!!! Look. This look, from my mother, would have me worried to the bone. How I hated to have her disapprove of something I did or said. My father was always pretty happy and never really ever gave me a look… only smiles and a pat.
MURDER-In my twenties I was violently mugged in the garage of my apartment building at 1:30 A.M. after driving my date home…. (My date was a poor medical student and hadn’t purchased a car at this time). This might be the worst look of all… because there was a blank look of murder in the eyes of my mugger. He tried to strangle me and smashed my head against the brick wall of the garage. I don’t know how I managed it but I refused to let him kill me. I returned the look of a mean, strong, school principal. I actually saw myself as a powerful person… stronger than my mugger. After taking the rings off my hands and money from my wallet, (he held my throat while I was told to take the money from my wallet) surprisingly … he let me go. I was 5’3” tall (then I am now 5’2 1/4″) and I weighed maybe 118 lbs. at the time. He could have killed me… but I think my “look” stopped him.
LUST-Many times from the age of about fourteen to (believe it or not) a few months ago, I have been the recipient of lecherous looks. Listen, after 60 it is a compliment. There are looks of passion and looks of lust. Yes, I have seen these looks and it is rather easy to see the difference.
THE BEST LOOK-The look that I saw this week that touched me and made me smile and made me sort of sad at the same time was the look of undeniable, impregnable, substantial, warm, proud, sustainable, and romantic, love. When I saw two people in love getting married and I spotted “that look” in the eyes of both the man and the woman as they said their vows I felt a small ping in my heart. I’ve seen that look. I have seen that look probably three times. This feels so good it takes you out of yourself. When ‘this look’ goes both ways … well, there isn’t anything like it. You are strong, and proud and feel as if nothing will ever be the same. It changes everything. It is maybe as close to bliss as we can feel in this lifetime. The hard part is if we have to face that we might never be able to see ‘that look’ again. It is still special if you have felt those eyes on you … it is so hard to put into words… it is a look of love and pride and happiness, and joy all rolled into one glance. It warms you. I have been the recipient of that look so I am grateful that I have both given and received the look of love.
Of course, often seniors have the joy of both receiving and giving the loving looks that a grandparent treasures. Even pet owners know the undying look of love that dogs, cats and pets both give and receive.
But me, I won’t forget “that look”. It was wonderful.
Until, Next Week….